Like Titanium
by LookAtAlllTheLeavesInTheFire
Summary: Making her way downtown, not walking fast. She hears that laugh then she's homebound.


**A/N: Tumblr prompt: Good In Goodbye by Carrie Underwood**

I turned my head to the sound. It was from the old restaurant we used to go to all the time. In fact, the first time we went on a date was at that restaurant. Italian, just the was she likes it. Same way I loved her, you couldn't exactly place it but there was something about her that forced you to love her.

* * *

_"Ya know, I told myself I'd never say this," I started to say, already regretting saying anything. "Knowing the probable consequences."_

_"And what is that?" She looked at me; you could almost see the gears turning as she thought of what I'd say to her._

_"Chloe?" She stopped thinking and smiled. I meant it, right? Of course I do. Why would I not? "Chloe, I love you."_

_Her expression softened. "I love you too, Beca." The couple sitting next to us turned and nodded. They were old, excuse me, elderly, and one needed a walker, but it was sweet, they found their perfect match. Like I did Chloe._

* * *

She looked happy with that little girl- no older than 4 or maybe 5 –on her lap. That smile could still make me melt even after all these years. I loved the way my natural sarcasm was sure to make her roll her eyes, -claim she hated me. Playfully of course, -and smile. The girl had it too, her presence. Together you could feel it across the street. And those eyes. Captivating, stunning, welcoming, loved. Those words couldn't even begin to describe them. But I know where she got the crystal eyes of blue. I was slightly disappointed she was blonde, but it fit the child well. When I imagined the kid with red hair, I saw a kindergarten version of her mother, no doubt. Whoever the father is should hope he knows he's lucky. Time has been so sweet to them.

It hurt, when we broke apart. It was bad. Not even just fast or just slow. It was like trying to pull a bandage off; at first you start off slow trying not to have to feel pain. Then you just say "Screw it." And just rip it off, short and not so sweet. Your nerves kicking in late like they were preoccupied but decided to join the party.

* * *

_I went over it in my head a million times at night before I fell asleep. Sometimes when I woke up too. I thought I had it down. Every possible scenario, every response had an answer. "Chloe, we need to talk."_

_"Sure Becs!" She put down whenever she was doing and sat down across the table from me. "So, what's got you wondering?"_

_This was possibility number 13. She'll be happy, but when I told her, she'd get really sad and start crying. "Look, your job offer will expire soon, and there's no way I can support both of us unless I get someone huge like Kelly Clarkson or One Direction." She stared at me, knowing what I would say, But denying it in her head. "You need to go take the job. Do it for us, Chlo," Her eyes pleaded for me to drop it and leave. "We need to break up."_

_"Beca no," She let that sink in for second. "No! I'm not leaving you!" She stood up._

_"I'll go to Seattle as much as I can, but there's no way I can finically keep both of us afloat and you don't seem to be getting any jobs here!" I stood also._

_"I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU!" Her face flushed red and she screamed at the top of her lungs. Our poor neighbors._

* * *

It's a funny thing, love. Sometimes it likes to lead you on a completely different road just to tear you apart. I wanted to hold on to her forever. Never let her go. It wasn't lust like everybody thought. I'm not a slut. It was love. So I had to let her go. That is what they say, right? 'If you love something. let it go. If it comes back, it's yours.'

It was both us together, homeless and barley hanging on. Or separate. I needed a job, something I was actually go at. She wasn't going to leave because she wanted me to stay with the two things I loved. You can't always win. I traded my human one true love for my non-living one true love- music.

Maybe someday that little girl will also learn why there's 'good' in 'good-bye.'

I don't regret it. Loving her, that is. She was everything I could ever want. She liked me for me. Not the mysterious girl slouching in the corner watching everybody else though her mixes. She didn't think I was weird, or intimidating. Though when you're as tall as a middle schooler nobody finds you intimidating no matter how much eye shadow you use. She even found my stubbornness funny. Who does that? Chloe was always so nice to me, no matter what. I think I still owe her for that. For treating me right. I can't forget what we had when we were together, It's too precious. Our love was so strong. But leaving each other wasn't wrong. In fact, I think we ended up exactly where we belonged. I guess walking away from something that powerful makes us strong.

* * *

_"You promise?" I asked, referring to her checking in every once in a while._

_"Yes."_

_"Business class for flight 217 to SeaTac International Airport." The intercom spoke, not knowing it was tearing two lovers apart._

_"That's me," She looked down._

_"I love you."_

_"You too, I love you too." I kissed her one last time, though we already agreed we shouldn't. Not everybody accepts gay rights. "Stay strong, Chlo."_

_"Why bother saying that?" She laughed. "We're like titanium!"_

_"We are the tits, aren't we?"_

* * *

I didn't see her face in person for 6 years after that.

I found someone too. I met her at the studio where I produce. She's almost like Chloe. Witty, attractive, intelligent, makes great food. And she has a beautiful singing voice. Bonus! She, like Chloe knows how to make me happy without the use of Taco Bell. But it took her 4 months, instead of Chloe's mere 9 days.

I knew I'd see her on the streets eventually. The last time we talked, almost 6 years ago, she told me she'd met a guy and was following him to LA. After she moved and changed her phone numbers to switch carriers, we lost contact. Some of us do crazy things to run off with our knights in shining armor.

Seeing her again was bittersweet. It hurt so much, with all the memories and emotions flash flooding my mind. Honestly it was a little overwhelming. On the other hand I was given that little fuzzy feeling, or maybe I was just standing in the sun. Like when you see two puppies cuddling together, or when your OTPs interact. Yes, I have the right to shipping. Or when a little kid comes up to you and says "You're beautiful." Out of the blue.

I almost wanted to cry. Don't ever repeat that.

We thought we'd find each other again. After we got our lives kick started. We thought we were perfect together, like Disney princesses finding their princes and falling in unrealistic, constantly singing, perfect love.

Sparks flew even when we parted. Maybe you can have two perfect matches. We never did try to fall back into place. We sort of melted into a neutral- not mutual, -friend zone

"No way! Beca Marie Mitchell?" I heard her beautiful voice chime though my head. God, I must be going insane just by looking at her. "Becs! It's me, Chloe!"

How long was I standing there? Someone wrapped their arms around me, fitting into a perfect hug. "I can't believe it!" She smiled, pulling me out of my haze.

"Aca believe it." I teased, thinking of our together days.

"Beca Mitchell, meet my husband, Tom and my daughter," She paused.

"What? Are you that bad with names? She's your daughter!"

"Meet Beca." Tom said for her. Did she name her daughter after me? "So this is the Beca Mitchell she insisted on," He pondered, his daughter on shoulders.

"Wow. That's touching…" I laughed

"Well, you did remind me not everything breaks, or burns in a giant glob of combustible pain." Chloe pointed out.

"Like titanium?" I thought back to our song.

"Yeah. Like titanium."

"Why?" Chloe covered her daughters ears.

"Because we're the tits."

* * *

_As bad as it was, yeah, as bad as it hurt_  
_I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved_


End file.
